Play Report Mar 17 2026 - Crow's Keep #30
Introduction
I must be the first guy to ever run a Wolves Upon the Coast hex in a Dungeon Crawl Classics Keep on the Borderlands gameโฆ
Since I've had Boasting with the Boys on my mind while running Crowโs Keep concurrently, I find the two campaigns are influencing each other in interesting ways. I've been using a similar magic item library for both, using &&&&&&&Treasure for Crowโs Keep while letting the goofy and zany vibes of the DCC book influence my more beer and pretzels spin on Wolves. I think both games are stronger for it, and it allows me to consolidate and condense my prep.
I've also been using Fever Swampโs boat rules to cover the relatively-frequent river trips. System is lightweight enough that it easily bolts on to DCC, furthering my belief that everything is compatible if you're not a coward.
With that said, one canโt underestimate the power of a level 3 DCC cleric! Kaledar rolled a seriously crazy result on paralysis turned the encounter into cleanup. Definitely expected a few more hits on the boat.
In general, the dice had a lot to say this session and it was fun seeing where they took us. In addition to Kaledarโs ridiculous paralysis roll, we had the following:
- Maximum roll for the nixie encounter, which surely meant a whole lair of nixies smelled the pike and swam up to the boat
- An immediate second encounter with the dragon on my encounter table, reaction neutral; this led to me assuming the dragon would seek recompense instead of revenge
- Boxcars on reaction when Boris made his plea for the Boatgirlโs life; Maldraakis would surely humor him if he was sufficiently amused or impressed.
I also used an adventure sites from Original Adventures Reincarnated #6, specifically Sertenโs Tomb. I tied it to the Haunted Hermitage from last session. Not the hugest fan of riddle doors as they never quite end up working out like they do in The Fellowship of the Ring (or maybe they do, now that I think of it). We got there in a reasonable amount of time and with relatively little frustration, though.
I also threw in a second Wolves hex into the game, recontextualizing some barrows from Ruislip into an exposed undercroft where the ruin elemental comes to rest. Low prep!
Report
In attendance:
- Kaledar, level 3 cleric, and his juvenile pet griffin Gilgamesh
- Bart the Boneless, level 1 warrior and wearer of the nautilus helm
- Boris the Inventor, level 1 dwarf and prolific tinkerer
With spring now upon the Borderlands, the Ogre-whelming Force prepared one last sidequest before the season unfroze the conflict with the Caves of Chaos and the Cult of the Eye. With the River Goblindrink thawing, the band set out to follow a fish tale told by their dearly departed comrade, the dwarf Zig. As the Woodfolk tell it, a giant pike named Auld Emyr has haunted the river for many years, devouring fishermen and their boats with great hunger and malice.
They were accompanied by a number of toughs, who had spent time in the stocks with the Forceโs own warrior, Bart. Though they had been enemies in the tavern brawl that landed them in jail, Bartโs brashness and bravery had earned their friendship.
The band made preparations at Hommletโs boat launch, purchasing an iron-plated keelboat from Bill the Boatman. His favorite child, the ambitious Balveda the Boatgirl, volunteered to act as coxswain for the expedition. Skeptical of the missionโs success, Bill nevertheless gave the expedition his blessing, telling the band to seek a slow bend in the river that passed through the eastern Fell Fens.
Rowing with the current, the band quickly came upon the riverbend and took the boat into the marshes. The laughter of young women could be heard throughout the expanse of brown reeds and cold water, and Balveda warned the band that the faerie denizens of the marshes would be waking up with the melts.
Just after noon, the Ogre-whelming Force came upon a frothing stretch of river that ought to have been stagnant and still. They'd found Auld Emyr, alright! Boris turned a bucket of chum into the water, which distracted the voracious fish long enough for Kaledar to bid it halt in the name of the Horned God! The band made short work of the fish it drowned, unable to pull water into its gills.
The mighty pike was nearly as long as the keelboat and almost too heavy. The band was unwilling to tow it along behind the keel for fear of attracting predators, and opted to pull it onto the deck. With the boat nearly swamped, the band began the laborious row home. Bart proposed returning to Saint Olim's, which abuts the river, to process the fish for easier transport.
Of course, the laughing women were upon the boat before the Force reached the riverbend. Balveda named them as nixies, capricious river spirits. Though they appeared as pretty lasses from a distance, as the faeries clung to the boat the band could see their great watery eyes and needle teeth. The nixies demanded a bite of the delicious fish, and began to follow the boat back, splashing and teasing the struggling oarsmen, further slowing their progress.
Things went from bad to worse at the bendโlying in wait for them was a fat and glistening dragon, known to rivermen in these parts as Maldraakis. Spreading his fishlike wings and turning his horselike head upon the band, Maldraakis demanded recompense for poaching such a fine fish from his waters! The nixies fled hissing like cats and the dragon hurled his froggy bulk at the boat, snatching at their coxswain!
The band struggled to repel the greedy wyrm, who snatched up Balveda with a shocking swiftness. With Balveda in the departing dragonโs clutches, Boris gave one last separate shout , offering the dragon his coin and service for the river maid's freedom. Though a dragonโs whims are inscrutable, Maldraakis seemed intrigued by the offer and commanded Boris to venture to his lair in the marshes.
Now safe on the keelboat, Balveda told the band that Maldraakis had been thought sleeping for many yearsโbefore even Rogahn and Zelligar had made their fortress in these parts. Something must have woken the old dragon up!
The band made it to Saint Olimโs just before dusk. Bart took the lead on breaking down the mighty fish, separating out the valuable metallic scales, the precious scrimshaw, and delicious meat for smokingโall sure to fetch fine prices back at the Keep. As promised, the band tossed choice gobbets of fish to the grateful faerie women, who bid the party adieu when sated. They spent the night at the church sanctuary, and sailed home with the more manageable haul!
At the Keep, the Force celebrated the landing of Auld Emyr with much drink and feasting. Kaledar had the pikeโs scales fashioned into a fine suit of scale armor. While drunk, the Castellan promised to do Kaledar a good turn in the future. Boris dutifully returned to the marshes and met Maldraakis in his lair, a great deadfall where the drake was attended by many lizardmen fresh from hibernation. The dragon took the dwarfโs share and tasked him to go to the Caves of Chaos and steal back the staff Uzelin from Papa Doorknocker, the orc wizard!
Eager for more adventure, the Force set out to find the tomb of Saint Cornis, which they believed to be somewhere in the woods near Nulb. Along the way, they located a great clearing in the ruins of Emridy Meadows, at the center of which was the crypt of an old cathedral. Boris reasoned that this may well be where the ruin-walker resided. Drawn by the smell of gold, the dwarf disturbed a grave and the band exorcised its ghost.
Coming upon the overgrown tomb, the Force solved a riddle of homonyms and the Saintโs name before his beatification. Within, the saint appeared to the band and bequeathed them his cudgel and shield, sure to aid them in their struggle against Chaos!