Play Report Apr 19, 27 2026 - Boasting with the Boys #6-7
Introduction
Two for one session report! Splitting up a dungeon crawl for the gang. I tend to not to like leaving in the middle of the dungeon in this manner, but it's linear enough that I decided to do it this once. Recordkeeping has been good too, so we were able to resume with little issue.
One of my friends who has wanted to play for a long while asked to be a Greenlander. I had established in session 1 that the band was departing Γsland for Faroe, so I decided to merge Iceland, Greenland, and Vinland into Thule, which may remain off screen and may become a custom region I spin up later. The Greenlander character received a free language that will likely never come up (Thulean) and a free bit of lore about a sea monster to be spent later.
Marcus shitting into the temple was a ruling I didn't expect having to make. I'm mostly satisfied with it; while I could have easily had Onthlougβs avatar rise up to destroy him like he had thrown a weapon down the well, I felt there was an interesting opportunity. I plan to echo the scene in the hex key for the Stone Circle back on Ruislip that also involves the mystical and religious properties of eating shitβ¦ in short, we have a funny boast and I get a fun knife to twist later.
I stole Ollieβs combat maneuver resolution scheme from their excellent Dogs on the Isle open table: in short, a simple HD roll-off between combatants occurs when adjudicating grapples, trips, etc. etc.
The table is very keen on rumors of the Wandering Court picked up in Rhaglan, so it will be interesting to see if they return to Ruislip to stay, or just to fulfill their obligations to the Druids. Last time I played we returned immediately and participated in the Scouring of Ruislip before my PC took them to Hwicce.
It also has accidentally become a West Marches! The last few session schedulings have all been player-initiated, and we have been experimenting with players in different locations.
Report
- Baggi
- Mundi
- Marcus Mussen
- Fyfe
- Mrs. Cranberry
Introducing Ulloriaq, one of the ex-thralls. A quiet skraeling from Thule.
With the Fallen Druid aspirant Eurig under their protection, the band returned to Diserth to retrieve their longship. They found themselves barred from entry so long as they were accompanied by the tongue-worshiper. Atiq questioned the Boysβ judgment in treating with the Fallen Druids, but bore them no ill will and released their craft.
They rowed back upriver, aiming to land in the town of Rhaglan then travel across the mountains to the Temple of Onthloug. It was said that a town loyal to the Fallen Druids, Contin, lay in the shadow of that mountain sanctuary. The road to Contin passed through many Christian towns, and the Boys hoped to limit their exposure.
Along the way, they spotted on the shore another of the Fallen Druids berated by a number of Christian peasants. Eager to solidify their bargain, the Boys intervened and took custody of the Druid, who was eager for the opportunity to visit the temple.
In Rhaglan, the band gathered supplies and Intel. The headwoman of town, Seonaid, warned the band again of the metal-blooded men stalking the mountains and the Black Strath beyond them, calling them orcs. The rowdy and argumentative cattleherds of Rhaglan were all Christian, and spoke in fearful tones of Onthloug and his cult.
The band sailed to the headwaters of the river, then parted ways with their crew, who would row on ahead to meet them again in Guthram. The Boys then set out on the long and rainy hike.
Four days of cold and rain lashed at the band. They kept a low profile and lit no fires, lest they attract fellow travelers. After two nights of watching furtive shapes and hearing shouts in the night, they came across several dead men and a slain orcsβlimbs seemingly fused back together with seams of iron, a knobbled and bloody head, and a twisted backbone. The dead menβs weapons were blackened and pitted, ruined beyond use. As Marcus Mussen sought to collect an orc-finger for a sage, he found his own dagger corroded to scrap.
On the fifth day, the weather cleared and the band could see their destination: the Temple of Onthloug, a maw in the mountains; below it, the mossy little burg of Contin. To the northeast lay a hunched fortress belching black smoke, no doubt the orc-lair.
A brief stop in Contin before the Temple revealed the townsfolk to be utterly terrified of Onthloug and the druids, though they still made offerings of teeth to the god. As the band waffled about their next step, Ulloriaq the Thulean boasted that he'd give three teeth to the Onthloug to show how man he was!
When the band ventured into the temple, they found the very placeβwith Ulloriaq, Fyfe, and Baggi all offering teeth of their own. Their bloody gums healed immediately, no doubt succor from the dark god.
Deeper within, the band came across an enormous nude Pict covered in Christian tattoos. Fyfe tried to reason with his countryman, but was rebuffed by the glaring guardian atop his throne of coins. Seeing their missing teeth and Fallen Druids, the man slandered them as heathens and attacked! He bore a magic shield that grew ever larger when gorged on blood, and a magic ring that commanded swords to fly through the air. He was no match, however, for the Boysβ vaunted gang-up and beatdown.
Fyfe laid claim to the shield, having shattered it in the fight, and greedy Marcus pocketed the ring in the chaos, adding it to his collection. Ulloriaq pulled two teeth from the Pict and tossed them into the offering-well.
As they pressed on, the wood planks beneath the Boysβ feet sounded hollow beneath their feet. After carefully ripping one up to look below, they found a charnel pit beneath them. Gold glittered tantalizingly among the fetid dead, but even the Boysβ greed was not enough to swim among corpses in the dark.
At last, the band came to the object of the Fallen Druidsβ pilgrimage: a hollow carved in the rock for a willing initiate to receive Onthlougβs blessing. The Boys watched as their charges cut out their own tongues and received new wriggling black ones with eyes. After doing so, the Fallen Druids could speak any language. The wounded druids were escorted back to town to convalesce, while Marcus Mussen made his boast: heβd shit down Onthlougβs own throat!
As the Norseman relieved himself, he narrowly evaded one of the hitchhikers. For blaspheming in Onthlougβs own house, he would never again benefit from the sacrifices, and there were sure to be greater consequences should any of the Fallen Druids ever learn of his sacrilege.
With the tattooed Christian warriorβs Roman gold atop Ulloriaqβs sled, the band then headed back to Guthram to rejoin their fellow crewmen. Along the way, they stopped in Medemeter to camp in one of the fields gone to seedβmost of the townsfolk had moved on or succumbed to plague, leaving only a few skittish peasants in the town. Mundi fed one of the hungry stray dogs roaming the deserted village, and the decided to join the pack of coastal wolves.
In the night, over a dozen orcs fell upon the town to drag off the remaining townsfolk. A number of the metal-veined men advanced upon the campsite. The band nearly lost control of their sled of loot in the attack, but pushed back the orcs with arrows and clubs. To fulfill her boast of forging a knife with the iron from orc blood, Mrs. Cranberry opened an artery of a dying orc to collect the corrosive stuff.
Back in Guthram, the band received word from the Fallen Druids about Maebhβs fate: they had sold her out to a man with a black wheel tattooed on his forehead, who took her south. In addition, the Fallen Druids had kept their word and sent back the two sacrifices, who joined the crew.
Mrs. Cranberry painstakingly separated the cursed iron from the orc-blood and forged a wicked dagger, ruining a local blacksmithβs forge in the process. To avoid an incident, she paid damages. She then gave away the knife to a desperate urchin.
The Boysβ legend continues to grow, though more checkered. There is talk of returning to Ruislip, and to try and visit the Wandering Courtβ¦